Tuesday, December 27, 2016

And, I wonder...

1. That is it only me who has a favorite urinal at office men's room and is pissed (pun intended) when it is occupied and I can't give it my love?

2. That why did I begin my post with such a personal revelation. No buildup at al. Huh ? Or, does everyone have a favorite urinal?

3. That why do I laugh bonkers every time someone mentions the marathi word "landook."
For the uninitiated, landook is marathi for Poop. Doesn't it sound like the noise when poop falls in the pot.   Len..."DooK" !

4. That should I stop with all the "toilet humor" already or this post will go down the "drain" ?

5. That where should the question mark be in last sentence? before or after the apostrophe.

6. That how is it that the only Spanish I remember after watching 20 hours of narcos is a slang ? Puta De Madre fellows, Puta De Madre !

7. That How would it be to do a series of "chicken cross the road" jokes ?

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road in Bangalore ?   
A. It just couldn't !
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road in Kolkatta ?       
A. To demand "Poribortan"!
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road in Delhi ?           
A. How dare you ask ? Tu jaanta hai chicken ka baap kon hai!

Lame as fuck , na ? I know. Anyways, I sometimes dream of a time when the chicken can cross the road without having his motives questioned. #world_peace

8. That what were the West Bengal administration smoking when they renamed it to Poschim Bonggo ? Doesn't "Poschim Bonggo" seem like a really cool euphemism for Anal Sex.
Baby, wanna go poschim bonggo, today ?

9. That why do I feel that If I am making this list I should have at least 15 points for it to look legitimate ?

10. That I can try to talk like a black homie.
"Yo! You want me to pay for that shit just becaz I am black, MAHn. You would let me FUCKin go, If I was a white MOTHERfucka !" (and be pathetic at it)

11. That is this country going down in deep gravy and Modi's domentisation scheme is nothing but a big PR scheme? 
Any publicity is good publicity MAHn!

12. That if there was a west bengal house in GOT, what would its sigil be?
Maybe, A Monkey cap with "Bring back Dada.. Ganguly for Coach" written below it.

13. That is this too much of Bengal love for a single post. No? But, on second thoughts can there ever be too much of Bengal love or toilet humor for that matter?

14. That how much insanely more fun US elections had been had George Carlin been still alive ? The absolute king of standup, political satire and dark comedy!

15. That should I breath a sigh of relief now that the count has reached 15 ?

17. That would someone notice that I am skipping a point after 15 to make this list look longer ?

18. That is Gupta ji ka double fried cheese cream veg. burger the absolute best or the absolute worse thing that has happened to humanity?

19. That how can it be so hard to leave Pune, the city of many Firsts. Should I be doing a separate post for this topic ?

20. That why do people not get the friends/Chandler reference when after cracking a poor joke, I say 
"Hi I am Manish. I make jokes when I am uncomfortable !"

21. That How would it be to end this post at this totally uncool number of 21?  Let's do it !

Questions, Questions ? Answers welcome. 

Song of the day - Moh Moh ke dhaage, female version from the movie Dum laga ke haishaa.
#Kewal ek iss gaane ke liye Anu maalik ke sare purane paap maaf, maaf, maaf...

Humor of the day -

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Moving On

Surprise Mada fakas. I am back, I am hungry. (Sorry been watching 'Highway on my plate' reruns a bit too much, so the intro in their trademark style... Rocky and Mayur are awesome.)

Anyways, I opened my blog after ages today after some motivation from a friend to find this story sitting in my drafts. So, I am shamelessly going ahead with publishing this one.

Now, this draft is at least 4 years old. So, it's a lot mushier and touchy-feely than I would wish for had I been writing something todayBut then, It only makes sense to restart with something that I had in my mind for my blog originally when I started it. Enjoy.


As my car sped along, the landscape turned monochrome and I began to reminiscence of the times when the drives used to be enjoyable, when at every opportunity I would plan to kick-start another expedition and  trying to convince her for joining in. She never said no, but didn't like to put forward a straight yes and did her tantrums before agreeing for the drive and we went on and on around the Bhopal roads with no destination in Mind. She has been my favorite pillion. She will always be.
# I miss her.

I broke up with her abut a month back and the first thing that I did was to block her from facebook. I still sometimes type in her name just after I login @ facebook to check any new updates from her side and when the realization dawns, it's not a very good feeling. I am just not able to get over her. Guess this has been a lot tougher than I had imagined.
# I miss her.

I know I have to stop being a baby. I am like 22! I have to grin and deal with it. I crib about her all the time but then it's tough on me. I guess I loved in two dimensions which is lot worse than love in three dimensions because the missing dimension was reality.
# I miss her.

I shall call her tonight. I shall confront her on what went wrong, what possibly didn't work out. If we could try it one more time or at least be the best of friends we have been. I miss her voice so much. That freak yet subtle voice.
# I miss her.

And Umang closed his diary at this point exactly as he had to get ready. He had to attend his school's reunion party tonight. He didn't want to go. He wanted to spend the evening knowing his newly made friend 'Solitude' a bit more. 

He met Namrata at the party. They used to go out in the High school days.
# He didn't miss her after that.


p.s. - The girl whom I had pictured when I mentioned Namrata in the above post got married a couple of months ago. Major Heartbreak happening.

p.s. 2 - Life's good except for Namrata part. Got selected for an MBA program at ISB Hyderabad, Mohali campus. Will be leaving Pune soon. 4 years here. so many memories. Might do a post on GMAT and how to get through to ISB. Not decided yet. 

Song of the day - Laung Gawancha by Neha Bhasin. If you haven't heard it please do it right now. Rest all can wait. The girl carries whole song by herself. No hip hop, rap or funny shit. Just pure bliss maintaining the spirit of the original song.

Humor of the day - 

Peace. Cya!