Gang wars & other such silly things

So, this is back in the day when yours truly was in second year of college and was called Bhalu Boss (BB) by his friends for a) he was fat AF, b) had hair density more then that of a grizzly and c) yours truly liked the ring to the name - Bhalu Boss (sounds like a gangsta. No?) Thankfully, only (b) is true right now. But then I can't do much about it, can I? I can just blame the excessive hair on my sindhi lineage.

Anyways, we were a group of 41 friends/brothers who were always together because we had been ragged in first year together (yea, we were silly like that). Second year had just started and life was going all hunky dory with nothing major to worry about. But, we were a group of 41 boys and 0 girls and hence, testosterone levels were quite high in the group and we didn't mind looking for reasons to fight. "usko toh maarna hai.. aiwai.. yuhhi bus maarna hai" was how any conversation would usually end.

Having set the context, let me move to the story now. So, yours truly one day came to know that one of his 37 brothers, Bhola Bhagwan was beaten by the hostelers last night for he did some fucked up shit involving one of the hostelers and his girlfriend. Lil BB really liked Bhola Bhagwan for he shared the same alias with him.  This was enough to enrage BB and he vowed - 'I shall avenge Bhola's beating and only then would I take a bath'. Yes, our vows were also silly like that!

So, Lil BB took it upon himself to arrange an emergency meeting of his 41 brothers and surprisingly 12 actually showed up. Lil BB quickly setup the broad agenda for the meeting and put forward his message. He not only managed to convince everyone to join him but also to deploy guerilla tactics and beat up the guilty hostelers right then and there. Excellent oratory skills and raging testosterone levels together does make for a lethal combination.

The plan of action was decided including the minutest of details such as the route we will go through, the types of 'hathiyars' we would carry and the role each persons would perform. We had 4 bikes and a Honda activa among ourselves and hence, 13 people including lil BB needed to be arranged. It is important to know at this stage, that the Activa belonged to a guy named Danny Batla (DB) who was easily the most sincerest non-violent guy after Mr. Gandhi. A reincarnation of Mother Teresa would be an exaggeration but you get the drift. 

So, Lil BB came up with another ingenious plan that the 12 people would go on 4 bikes triple seated and DB would drive the activa alone carrying hathiyar in the front of his activa. The hack being no one will doubt DB's intentions. He will lead us on the road and hence, we will sail crystal clear till the hostel. Convinced of the ingenuity of the idea, everyone quickly concealed our weaponry inside of engineering drawing sheet holders and kept with DB on the activa while rest decked up on the bikes. DB started the voyage 2 minutes earlier then us and we followed with revenge in eyes and battle cries in heart . Bhola must be avenged! Chaos must be created!

Two things happened during the uneventful part from when we left for hostel to the point when we reached:

a) One of our 41 brothers who didn't show up but was aware of the plans ratted us out to a hosteler and hence, hostelers were expecting the surprise visit. They had been able to quickly arrange a group of 30 odd boys with makeshift weapons who were ready to fight for their hostel, for their pride.

b) DB's activa was short on fuel and had ran out of fuel on the way to the hostel some 2 kms away from the planned scene of attack.

Unaware of these two minor developments, Lil BB and other boys reached hostel, parked their bikes and entered the hostel porch according to the plan hoping to find DB with weaponry and unaware hostelers minding their own business as targets. Instead, they were greeted by 30 odd blood thirsty boys well equipped with advanced techniques of warfare such as a sledge hammer and a chair among many other things. 

Lil BB quickly realized the gravity of the situation, closed his eyes, prayed, thought of the famous quote "This is not the situation we deserve, but the one we need to prove ourselves," opened his eyes, had one last look at the enemy, turned around and ran like a lil Bitch. His friends soon followed. Let's just say, we did put up a good run and a good fight during that run. When DB came pushing his activa 5 minutes later, he found one of his brother ninja hathodi (NH) running towards him without a shirt which he had literally ran out of when hostelers grabbed his shirt.

Lil BB doesn't remember a lot from that day except for a lot of running and the decision he took later that evening to not only 'not take a bath' but also 'not shave' till revenge was served to the hostelers. Yes we were silly like that.

                                                                        ---X---X---

P.S. - I have been all nostalgic, remembering college days since this weekend. Went to DB's wedding yesterday and he introduced me as "Crime Partner" to his significant other. Felt good. Felt like we shared a bond. A bond that was beyond friendship. College friendships are like that I guess. Congrats DB for the wedding.

P.P.S. - NH (the guy without the shirt) was also there. He still blames DB for the complete fiasco. If only DB's activa had fuel that day, he said after a round of drinks. Yours truly agreed and nodded. :) to DB and to NH and to all my friends, Cheers Lads! We have led a colorful colorful college life.

Song of the day - "Jai wolf - Indian Summer." Beautiful art and music. Magical gift for solo adventure travelers. Do watch the video if you're a beach person.

Humor of the day -

Do follow "jake likes onions" for more such dank strips :D

Cheers,
Me